Interpersonal Relationships

My notes and descriptions on the Knapp's Relational Model.

The interpersonal relationship I've chosen to analyze with through Knapp's Relational Model is a coworker of mine that I have worked with for close to three years. Starting out on my first day at this new job, she was training me, our first impressions of each other were pretty rocky, and we couldn't quite get a good read on each other. We talked in a formal way with each other, but I started to sense a negative attitude and an anger coming from her when I would ask questions while I was training.

The section in our reading titled We Cling to First Impressions,  they talk about the halo effect and horns effect, where the halo effect is after having a positive interaction and seeing them in a positive way, and horns effect seeing them in a negative way. (Adler, Proctor. 2023) After the initial negative first impressions, I struggled at work greatly for a long time. Dealing with passive aggressive comments, angry snaps, and being left alone to figure out the job on my own. I would say we started out with the Initiating stage of the Knapp's Relational Model, moved to Experimenting, but maybe jumped right to avoiding, since we steered clear of each other even though we had to work in the same place. 

After around a year, we started talking more and I think we bonded on some of our shared on the job issues, like dealing with another employee who made us laugh, and having to carry heavy things up flights of stairs together. We continued in the Experimenting phase, then to Intensifying. After that we moved to Integrating, where we eat lunch and go on the occasional shopping trip together after work.

Finally. we began to bond and realize we had so much in common. Now this person is a good work friend of mine, and we talk through our issues instead of Avoiding them or each other. I have decided to keep this friendship separate from close personal friends and just at work and occasional shopping trip. This boundary has worked well, and when applied to this model, would keeping that friendship boundary of just a work friend be considered Differentiating or Circumscribing? Since Differentiating is more about taking separate individual time, or Circumscribing is about restricted conversations, like I don't talk to her about group gatherings or include her in group chats.

How have the impacts of online communication affected your interpersonal relationship?

I did add this person on Facebook and Instagram. We like each others photos and message memes to each other but that is the extent. I don't share much information about me online, just photos on Instagram. This online communication is mostly normal with minimal interactions. Since I keep this work friendship separate, it can be hard to be online if I don't want her to see my photos of me hosting or going to events she isn't invited to. We do seem to have a mutual understanding that she isn't invited to things I have going on and she never seems bothered, but I do feel guilty sometimes because I don't want to leave anyone out. On the other hand we have separate friend groups and that is totally ok. So when online, sometimes I don't post everything I do or share my locations or tag people just to keep some privacy. 

Reference

• Adler, R. B, & Proctor, R. F.ll. (2023). Interplay: The process of interpersonal communication (16th edition). Oxford University Press. Chapter 5, Perceiving Others, pg. 135-136.